Dealing with Problems and Complaints
Foreward	These are time-proven methods to approaching problems and arriving at solutions in a proactive manner, applicable to both professional and personal situations! Please examine these guidelines carefully, as each scenario and "big picture" study will help you become more cognizant of generally unnoticed factors that may help or hinder your objective! Our goal is to approach problem-situations with professionalism, integrity, and commitment to quality. Here is a helpful quote. I do not mean any offense to anyone by sharing it. Albert Einstein once said, "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
In Every Situation	If you don't master the problem, the problem will master you! Incorrectly handling a situation can be damaging. Being proactive means taking control, and being preemptive is taking the initiative to perform measures to contain and cure an issue before it mushrooms into something worse. When approaching a problem, follow these three steps: Take a step back and assess the situation objectively - What is fact and what is fiction? What is said out of emotional reaction? Are logs or evidence available? Define the issue. If a person is being accused, define the accusation. What is the emotional tension of the situation? Who is involved? Try to acquire the big picture by emotionally detaching yourself from the situation. Take a step back. Define the problems. What is being said, or what is the accusation? For each angle, establish its validity. Are their any motivational factors behind what's being said? Is the accused being set up - or are you? Are people correctly perceiving the issue? Each person is seeing only a "slice" of the pie, and each person's angle is slightly different, but a slice does not equal the entire pie! If a problem was witnessed and is being reported, what was the sequence of events beforehand and after that? Bring calmness and containment to the situation - People tend to be reactive instead of proactive and may tend to gossip - gossip turns to slander, slander turns to back-stabbing, and back-stabbing turns to direct confrontation in a condemnatory and destructive fashion. People will react in the flesh rather than act in the Spirit. Many may be harmed just by the shockwave of reaction. Quickly establish that we should hold off passing judgement until we fully assess the situation, that there may be underlying elements that we do not immediately see. Let's focus on that which is good and bring a solution to the situation with objectivity and not emotional reactiveness. Don't React Emotionally nor Defensively - A diplomatic approach is best, but if the problem-reporter fails to act in good character, then be firm. Do not let the problem-reporter push you around. You should maintain control over the situation. Remain sensitive to the person, as there may be possible hurt. Hurt people may act poorly. Again, most people will naturally just react. Those who are less seasoned and experienced will react differently than those who have been around for a while.
Solving Problems	There are several guildlines we can follow when we attempt to bring a solution to a problem. It is easy for people to focus on the problems, but it takes an act of will to be solution-minded! Be a Good Listener - The Chinese character for the verb "to listen" contains a sub-character which means "heart." Put your heart into listening. Sometimes problems can be solved in this first step! Beware of manipulation - Some people may want your Team to function their way and to live up to their standards. Whether acting subconsciously out of a bias due to their background, or whether acting consciously, some seem to expect you to be accountable to them and believe their points to be more valid than yours. Mohandas Ghandi once said, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world." Beware of intimidation - People may threaten your Team or interests by threatening to act in such a way that that will damage the reputation of your Team or defame or devalue your Team. Endure Hardship - Interestingly, this quote came from a Marvel comic book: "We don't have the right to do what's convenient. What have the right to do what is right!" Personal and Team integrity comes from commitment to acting honorably. It was once said, "It is for us to make the effort. The result is in God's hands." Confer with Peers - "In a multitude of counselors there is safety." Outline your solution, and research all necessary elements. Talk to those who have had similar experiences and take their recommendations into account. Caringly Keep Confidentiality - Be cognizant of privacy-sensitive issues. Gossip is often the first cause of disruption and disunity of a body or a Team. Ensure that the people you confer with are committed to the same standards as you are. The Past does not Equal the Future - People are prone to keeping lists of wrongs. When a situation arises that causes them grief, they may compound the verdict with the items on those personal lists! Regardless of whether those items are true or not, they are irrelevant to the current case. If a problem is towards a person, do not base your opinion on what you "heard" from past issues or accusations. Rather, treat each item as an individual case and determine their validity at an individual level. Some people think that a person is guilty because there has been so much that has been "said" about that person. We must not be swayed by opinions or hunches but base our decisions on fact alone. Validate the Accusation - If an accusation or complaint is being made, determine its validity. Also consider motivating factors. Some people complain because they do not see the big picture. Some are reacting emotionally based on the little they see. Also consider that slander, back-stabbing and defamation may be the by-products of your Team's progress. There will always be obstacles in your path to trip or derail you.
Composition and Character	There is a saying that you know what you are full of when you see what spills out of you when something bumps into you. It was once said that 20 percent of life involves what happens to you, but 80 percent involves how you respond in that given situation. Thus, attitude is everything. Every newly designed car has to go through a wind-tunnel test. The testing reveals imperfections in the model, and whatever does not work is taken back to be redesigned. So endure your wind-tunnel. Eventually you will smooth out like the pebbles! Focus on your Vision when in Adversity - Winston Churchill once said, "Face adversity promptly and without flinching, and you will reduce its impact. Never run from anything, and never ever quit." Set your Focus Forwards - It is so easy to fall into sadness, guilt or despondency, feeling that you can't go forward. Don't look over your shoulder once you've set your hand to the plough - you've committed to tilling the field, so to speak, so set your face forward! Soren Kierkegaard once said, "Live must be lived forwards" An arrow that turns backwards will never hit its target! Trials Does not Equal Failure - Though we do reap what we sow, there are occasions that we go through things that are not a direct result of our failures or weaknesses. This will naturally be contrary to popular opinion while you're going through your situation. Some will say, "You haven't done enough of this" or "This has happened because of this-and-that failure in your life." Ignore them politely. The important thing is to stand upon what God thinks of you and what He has written about you - set in stone, unchanged for an eternity. Slow to Anger, Abounding in Love - In all your responses to people, be calm, collected and peaceable. A soft answer often turns away wrath.
Detective Work: Determining Problems	Here are a few how-to's in determining problems. Verifying for Veracity - If there is a situation being reported which involves an accusation, obtain eye-witness reports, logs, documentation, etc. Develop a series or sequence of events with each person and compare them for consistency. Profile the Person Reporting the Problem - Is this a well-mannered individual? Or has this person exhibited a pattern of behavior similar to this? If you suspect that the situation does not merit the attitude with which this person is reporting it, then what is the fruit of the outcome if he/she had his/her way? Confer with other ministry leaders. Has this person done anything similar? How have these ministry leaders handled the situation? Is this person going to other ministry leaders to backstab your own ministry, Team, or yourself? What is the background history of the individual? Is the individual stable or severely lacking in many areas, emotionally or psychologically or even mentally? Compare Past Situations - Was there a similar situation in the past? How was it handled? If mistakes were made back then, how can we avoid repeating history? How can we do it better?
The Key of Listening	Listening is an important key. Use this opportunity to show you are attentive and solution-oriented and desire to be a problem-solver. It's important to note that gender differences sometimes result in listening sessions going bad. Interestingly, the difference between men and women in their thought processes can be generally described as follows: when acquiring information about, say, the climate of a country, men will want straight to-the-point facts. "Temperature, humidity, wind speed, wind chill factor." Women may approach this by embelishing on how the climate actually feels, the effect it causes, and other factors. Let's say the climate was a problem for a potential trip, and a husband and wife were communicating. He only wants to hear, "Temperature 92 degrees. Too hot. Humidity extremely high." Very black and white. However, figuratively, she would describe the situation in terms of colors, tones, contrasts, lightness, hues, textures, etc. as opposed to the man's black and white approach. Both are accurate descriptions of the problem, but from different stances and approaches. Many are not cognizant of this communication difference, even as it is occuring! It causes quite a bit frustration. Take this into account when you are communicating with someone of the opposite sex!
Dealing with Attacks and Accusations	There are times in work or in ministry that people will outright accuse you or accuse your character. Some do this because they are angry. Some do this to anger you on purpose. Handling yourself and such people in situations like these is a skill and an art. Most of us, when injured by words in this way, tend to respond out of hurt, emotion, or vengeance. Let's not. Instead, take the negativity and rephrase it into something positive. There are two ways of doing this: If you're attacked with a comment, it's not a bad idea to turn the accusation around as an admitted need for self improvement. This is not always applicable, e.g. if someone accuses you of a crime you did not commit. However, do this as often as possible! If you're indicating to someone they are wrong, or bad, or incorrect in an area, it is wise to address the need to do something more positively, e.g. instead of "You're always depressing," say something like "You need to be more cheerful!" or "You need a strong source of joy in your daily life." In that way, people won't react at your words so harshly and then waste energy countering your statements but instead they accept your recommendations. Let's go over a few examples. Let's say someone called you not Christian or not Godly. That's a negative assessment on your character. Respond with a direct reverse of that negative, with an area you could improve in. Say: "You're right... I'm always working on trying to be more of what you say." If you want to really get them, add: "Perhaps you could help me in that area." This will disarm them. Let's say someone said, "I don't like the way you banned that person." (a common situation on the Internet Relay Chat). How about: "If you were in my position and undid the ban and let the person back in, would you have a way of guaranteeing the safety and security of the channel, that the troublemaker wouldn't attack people?" If the person humbly admits, "no" then say, "But I'm open to your suggestions. Maybe we can think of something together." or "Hey, would you like to work on a solution together? We know what the problem is!" This statement alone is often so challenging that it will convict the person if the accusation was uncalled for in the first place. How about someone who directly insults you? "You're a no good lily-livered piece of rotting sponge." That's a negative. Take it into a positive and define a need. "Yeah, you're right. That's why I need God's grace to make me more like him. Won't you keep me in your prayers?" Or, even more disarming: "Would you pray for me? I'm feeling down in this area and need some encouragement." See, the Bible says, "A soft answer turns away wrath"!