The Christian Student Equipper: Overcoming NetSex

The Christian Student Equipper: Overcoming NetSex The JESUS!Ministry Equipper:
Overcoming NetSex

Overcoming NetSex

Foreward NetSex deals primarily with sexual-based conversations on the Internet Relay Chat, basically role-playing for the purpose of self-gratification. It is a highly addictive indulgence. This article is a non-condemnatory help to those who want to break the addiction!

Index The Cyberspace Phenomenon
Cyberspace Romance: Decoy or Destiny?
Are There Any Attractive Men/Women in There?
So How Can I Deal with the Urges?
Symptoms of a Walk that Constantly Falls to Sin?

The Cyberspace Phenomenon Cyberspace contains the impetus to powerfully impact the human psychology. Online flirtations are not uncommon, and even many people have met their loved ones online. This is not to condemn online romances, but understanding the effect Cyberspace can have on the mind will help us define its role in your life: are you controlling it, or is it controlling you?
The term Cyberspace has various definitions, but my personal observation as to where Cyberspace truly exists is not physically on the Internet, not metaphysically or what have you, but Cyberspace exists in the mind. It is the realm of thought, incidentally, that Satan attacks.
An idea is sometimes more hazardous than a bomb.
The Cyberspace Phenomenon occurs when the person you are interacting with on the Internet becomes as close as physical reality. This perception occurs in your mind. It becomes easy to give into flirtations and to temptation because the Phenomenon allows direct access to your imagination, bypassing normal barriers, inhibitions and defenses that we normally raise up in every-day social conduct. With these defenses down, it is easier to give into what the Bible calls lasciviousness - which means "passion out of control."
The Internet Relay Chat can be highly addictive. When you meet a member of the opposite sex, and the two of you get into exchanging physical details and then more intimate details, the imagination generally begins to fill in all the blanks. Positive emotional intimacy is generally the ultimate goal of a romance (a woman will naturally tell you, though the man will tell you otherwise), but the Cyberspace Phenomenon can cause the process of arriving at intimacy to become accelerated; what normally takes two months can be arrived at in two hours!
A good solution to combat this is to read the Word and constantly meditate on what God is saying to you this day, throughout your day: keep your mind on Him, and be consciously aware of His presence in your life. The Bible exhorts us in Romans to "be transformed by the renewing of your minds."

Cyberspace Romance: Decoy or Destiny? Taking into account the aforementioned Cyberspace Phenomenon, is your new romance a decoy or your destiny? Occasionally, God may allow a decoy to come into your life. In that situation, will you walk out from under His will, follow your flesh, and pursue the decoy? (Keep in mind that God may test you, but He does not tempt. Satan does enough of that already!)
Along the lines of decoy vs. destiny, Eve was similarly tempted in the Garden. The fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil had a powerful effect on her. Let's look at Genesis 3:6.

Genesis 3:6 - And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Here she was tempted body (good for food), soul (pleasant to eyes), and spirit (would make her wise). It is important to note that all temptations will look GOOD and will most certainly have an appeal. Overcoming the temptation may require you not to feed the temptation. Come away for a while, seek the Lord, and ask the Lord to sanctify you - which means "to set one apart unto the Lord."

1 Thessalonians 5:23 - And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and [I pray God] your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A missionary interviewed an Native American tribal chief who accepted the Lord. Asking the chief how his new Christian life was, he replied, "It is like my life is two hungry dogs constantly fighting against one another. One is my flesh, the other is my spirit." The missionary asked him which one wins. He replied, "The one I feed the most!"

Are There Any Attractive Men/Women in There? NetSex Chat Channels have many "bodacious, beautiful women." And, to the ladies, I'm sure some men have described themselves as an absolute adonis! But in reality, you really have no evidence that this person really looks like that. This is not to put down people if they are not physically attractive - God loves us all the same! - but rather, understand that the person in your fantasy and mind and the person on the other computer may look entirely different! In other words, you're dealing with an image in your mind.
In my local area, many years, ago, on a multichat BBS, I knew of some guys who would assume nicknames of girls, to lure other men, baiting in-heat users, got them "high" and quickly hung up the phone line before the unsuspecting victims had their release!
But, more to the point: the person you are having net sex with is, in many respects, an illusion created by text-characters on your screen. While there is a living and breathing person on the other computer conversing with you, all you have is a fantasy depiction in your mind, of a figure or figurine that really doesn't exist.
Satan uses the realm of thought - "vain imaginations" (2 Cor. 10:4-6) - to bring us down.

So How Can I Deal with the Urges? "So how can I deal with the urges? Delete my web browser? " You can try, but while most guys delete their web browsers, they seldom delete their FTP programs which can help them get it back! Besides, if you had deleted your web browser, you would not have been able to access this ministry's web page. Our purpose is to equip to you to be an overcomer. The results of keeping the web browser and tuning to the #JESUS! Channel and the Christian Student Equipper page finally outweigh deleting it.
One idea is to subscrube to a "Net Patrol" type of software that blocks all adult sites. But then make sure you steer away from all areas of compromise. Just because you block sites that have pornography, don't use, say, a swimsuit, lingerie or wet T-shirt or even SuperModel web page in substitution. Anything you use in the place of pornograhy can end up being pornography in itself! On this battlefield, one thing does lead to another.
Here's how to overcome.

Spend a season of fasting and prayer away from the computer. Keep in mind that you don't earn God's forgiveness, not the strength to overcome. He grants it by His grace and out of the abundance of His goodness. Now, sure, it's hard to stay away from the sources of attemptation, since pornography and IRC have an addictive effect. That's why it's called the World. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus didn't ask the Father to take us out of the world, but to keep us from evil (John 17:15). When we fast and pray, it is not to make our prayer requests louder so we are heard by God (Isaiah 58:4). It is to put to death the deeds of the flesh, weaken its cry, and let the cry within your spirit unto God be louder in proportion. Fasting helps us to have a keen sensitivity to God's voice and also for us, and prayer helps us access Jesus's overcoming power.

Even if it's hard, do it. God will back you up. Yes it's hard, but it was hard for Jesus to go to the cross. And despite the fact that He did not complain, He undestands your weakness and has compassion and does not condemn you (Hebrews 4:15)! Most of us are baby Christians learning how to walk in Christ. You don't beat a baby with clubs each time it trips on the carpet and falls. Rather, you pick the baby up and encourage it to keep learning how to walk!

Understand that it is "Fantasy". Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary defines "Fantasy" as "the power or process of creating esp. unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to a psychological need...." First if all, it's fake. God has given us many dreams of success and calling in Him. He will give you the mate that is right for you, someone you will love until the day you die. This NetSex partner is little more than a two dimensional false image. In the end, that person is gone. Your perception of that person will also vanish. God has many dreams for you, but if you fantasize, you cannot dream.

Feel the ferocity to fight it. God can put some fight in your spirit. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." The knowledge of God means to intimately know God in your life. God has called you to a powerful intimacy in Him. He can satisfy your spirit. Once your spirit is satisfied, your flesh and mind are automatically satisfied because you have prioritized Him. This intimacy is called the "knowledge of God" - and entertaining sexual fantasy can shatter it.

Be on the rebound. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again." Get some bounce-back-ability in your spirit. If you've fallen, then get up! Don't get guilty, get up! Romans 5:20 says, "... where sin abounded, grace did much more abound." We are commanded to rise by grace, not by guilt. Because God sent His Son to the cross for you, you will never have to live life trying to earn to be good enough for God; His grace alone is sufficient! Rather now, divert your energy to say, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I'm not going to accept this low standard. I'm commiting myself to a higher standard!" Micah 7:8 says, "Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me."

Symptoms of a Walk that Constantly Falls to Sin?
Lack of worship and intimacy with God. Get a Vineyard or Integrity Hosanna worship tape. Pop it in your tape deck at home, lift up your hands and worship God, and let tears of love, intimacy and healing flow. It's beautiful, and let those tears be your sacrifice unto God. God has a special bottle in which He collects all your precious tears. Psalms 56:8 says, "Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?" Earthly things will always leave you dry. But Psalms 16:11 says that pleasures forevermore and the fulness of joy is found in God's intimate presence.

Get in the Word. Feeling weak spiritually? Your spirit hasn't eaten! While you've feasted your flesh on all that pizza, pate, cheese, etc. you've neglected feeding and fortifying your Spirit that needs the daily bread to be strong with overcoming power. Psalms 17:4 says, "Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer." You also need overcoming faith when you fail. Romans 10:17 says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

The lie of lonliness. I once believed that I was never lonely because I had God in my heart. And then I felt those lonliness pangs that almost physically hurt on the inside. What a mess of feelings we have? But the fact of the matter is that we do have the Lord, and He does satisfy, and while we many not need a mate now He will provide one in His perfect time. Know that Satan wants to paralyze your walk by making feelings of lonliness overcome you. Throw out the lie and embrace the truth. Get together with the brethren and be strong in numbers.

The lie of sexual energy. Psychology classes and textbooks teach that sex is one of the three basic needs for survival. If that need is deprived, you will be psychologically damaged and die. Young men and women have forsaken forebearance and bought into this lie and subsequently felt that if they didn't have sex, they would explode. God is so kind that He has provided a way so that we are not controlled so miserably by our feelings, and that is the Truth of His Word, and the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit. If the three needs are food, water, and sex, then if you don't eat and don't drink, you'll die. Will you die if you don't have sex? Now is it really a basic need?

The lie that you're incomplete as a single. Baloney. Paul the Apostle enjoyed his single life because he could do more in God than if he were to have family responsibilities. That brings us to the question: are you, when you get married, going to look back upon these years and say, "Oh, how I wish I did this for God... how I wish I did more in that direction...!" This is the hour to live in Maximum Christianity. The only reason why the singles I've seen in singles groups are dilapidated and defeated is because they keep looking for Ms. Right and Price Charming to come through the doors of the fellowship, and their lives are lived to a minimum.

	Overcoming NetSex
Foreward	NetSex deals primarily with sexual-based conversations on the Internet Relay Chat, basically role-playing for the purpose of self-gratification. It is a highly addictive indulgence. This article is a non-condemnatory help to those who want to break the addiction!
Index	The Cyberspace Phenomenon Cyberspace Romance: Decoy or Destiny? Are There Any Attractive Men/Women in There? So How Can I Deal with the Urges? Symptoms of a Walk that Constantly Falls to Sin?
The Cyberspace Phenomenon	Cyberspace contains the impetus to powerfully impact the human psychology. Online flirtations are not uncommon, and even many people have met their loved ones online. This is not to condemn online romances, but understanding the effect Cyberspace can have on the mind will help us define its role in your life: are you controlling it, or is it controlling you? The term Cyberspace has various definitions, but my personal observation as to where Cyberspace truly exists is not physically on the Internet, not metaphysically or what have you, but Cyberspace exists in the mind. It is the realm of thought, incidentally, that Satan attacks. An idea is sometimes more hazardous than a bomb. The Cyberspace Phenomenon occurs when the person you are interacting with on the Internet becomes as close as physical reality. This perception occurs in your mind. It becomes easy to give into flirtations and to temptation because the Phenomenon allows direct access to your imagination, bypassing normal barriers, inhibitions and defenses that we normally raise up in every-day social conduct. With these defenses down, it is easier to give into what the Bible calls lasciviousness - which means "passion out of control." The Internet Relay Chat can be highly addictive. When you meet a member of the opposite sex, and the two of you get into exchanging physical details and then more intimate details, the imagination generally begins to fill in all the blanks. Positive emotional intimacy is generally the ultimate goal of a romance (a woman will naturally tell you, though the man will tell you otherwise), but the Cyberspace Phenomenon can cause the process of arriving at intimacy to become accelerated; what normally takes two months can be arrived at in two hours! A good solution to combat this is to read the Word and constantly meditate on what God is saying to you this day, throughout your day: keep your mind on Him, and be consciously aware of His presence in your life. The Bible exhorts us in Romans to "be transformed by the renewing of your minds."
Cyberspace Romance: Decoy or Destiny?	Taking into account the aforementioned Cyberspace Phenomenon, is your new romance a decoy or your destiny? Occasionally, God may allow a decoy to come into your life. In that situation, will you walk out from under His will, follow your flesh, and pursue the decoy? (Keep in mind that God may test you, but He does not tempt. Satan does enough of that already!) Along the lines of decoy vs. destiny, Eve was similarly tempted in the Garden. The fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil had a powerful effect on her. Let's look at Genesis 3:6. Genesis 3:6 - And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. Here she was tempted body (good for food), soul (pleasant to eyes), and spirit (would make her wise). It is important to note that all temptations will look GOOD and will most certainly have an appeal. Overcoming the temptation may require you not to feed the temptation. Come away for a while, seek the Lord, and ask the Lord to sanctify you - which means "to set one apart unto the Lord." 1 Thessalonians 5:23 - And the very God of peace sanctify* you wholly; and [I pray God] your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.* A missionary interviewed an Native American tribal chief who accepted the Lord. Asking the chief how his new Christian life was, he replied, "It is like my life is two hungry dogs constantly fighting against one another. One is my flesh, the other is my spirit." The missionary asked him which one wins. He replied, "The one I feed the most!"
Are There Any Attractive Men/Women in There?	NetSex Chat Channels have many "bodacious, beautiful women." And, to the ladies, I'm sure some men have described themselves as an absolute adonis! But in reality, you really have no evidence that this person really looks like that. This is not to put down people if they are not physically attractive - God loves us all the same! - but rather, understand that the person in your fantasy and mind and the person on the other computer may look entirely different! In other words, you're dealing with an image in your mind. In my local area, many years, ago, on a multichat BBS, I knew of some guys who would assume nicknames of girls, to lure other men, baiting in-heat users, got them "high" and quickly hung up the phone line before the unsuspecting victims had their release! But, more to the point: the person you are having net sex with is, in many respects, an illusion created by text-characters on your screen. While there is a living and breathing person on the other computer conversing with you, all you have is a fantasy depiction in your mind, of a figure or figurine that really doesn't exist. Satan uses the realm of thought - "vain imaginations" (2 Cor. 10:4-6) - to bring us down.
So How Can I Deal with the Urges?	"So how can I deal with the urges? Delete my web browser? " You can try, but while most guys delete their web browsers, they seldom delete their FTP programs which can help them get it back! Besides, if you had deleted your web browser, you would not have been able to access this ministry's web page. Our purpose is to equip to you to be an overcomer. The results of keeping the web browser and tuning to the #JESUS! Channel and the Christian Student Equipper page finally outweigh deleting it. One idea is to subscrube to a "Net Patrol" type of software that blocks all adult sites. But then make sure you steer away from all areas of compromise. Just because you block sites that have pornography, don't use, say, a swimsuit, lingerie or wet T-shirt or even SuperModel web page in substitution. Anything you use in the place of pornograhy can end up being pornography in itself! On this battlefield, one thing does lead to another. Here's how to overcome. Spend a season of fasting and prayer away from the computer. Keep in mind that you don't earn God's forgiveness, not the strength to overcome. He grants it by His grace and out of the abundance of His goodness. Now, sure, it's hard to stay away from the sources of attemptation, since pornography and IRC have an addictive effect. That's why it's called the World. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus didn't ask the Father to take us out of the world, but to keep us from evil (John 17:15). When we fast and pray, it is not to make our prayer requests louder so we are heard by God (Isaiah 58:4). It is to put to death the deeds of the flesh, weaken its cry, and let the cry within your spirit unto God be louder in proportion. Fasting helps us to have a keen sensitivity to God's voice and also for us, and prayer helps us access Jesus's overcoming power. Even if it's hard, do it. God will back you up. Yes it's hard, but it was hard for Jesus to go to the cross. And despite the fact that He did not complain, He undestands your weakness and has compassion and does not condemn you (Hebrews 4:15)! Most of us are baby Christians learning how to walk in Christ. You don't beat a baby with clubs each time it trips on the carpet and falls. Rather, you pick the baby up and encourage it to keep learning how to walk! Understand that it is "Fantasy". Webster's Ninth Collegiate Dictionary defines "Fantasy" as "the power or process of creating esp. unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to a psychological need...." First if all, it's fake. God has given us many dreams of success and calling in Him. He will give you the mate that is right for you, someone you will love until the day you die. This NetSex partner is little more than a two dimensional false image. In the end, that person is gone. Your perception of that person will also vanish. God has many dreams for you, but if you fantasize, you cannot dream. Feel the ferocity to fight it. God can put some fight in your spirit. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." The knowledge of God means to intimately know God in your life. God has called you to a powerful intimacy in Him. He can satisfy your spirit. Once your spirit is satisfied, your flesh and mind are automatically satisfied because you have prioritized Him. This intimacy is called the "knowledge of God" - and entertaining sexual fantasy can shatter it. Be on the rebound. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again." Get some bounce-back-ability in your spirit. If you've fallen, then get up! Don't get guilty, get up! Romans 5:20 says, "... where sin abounded, grace did much more abound." We are commanded to rise by grace, not by guilt. Because God sent His Son to the cross for you, you will never have to live life trying to earn to be good enough for God; His grace alone is sufficient! Rather now, divert your energy to say, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I'm not going to accept this low standard. I'm commiting myself to a higher standard!" Micah 7:8 says, "Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me."
Symptoms of a Walk that Constantly Falls to Sin?	Lack of worship and intimacy with God. Get a Vineyard or Integrity Hosanna worship tape. Pop it in your tape deck at home, lift up your hands and worship God, and let tears of love, intimacy and healing flow. It's beautiful, and let those tears be your sacrifice unto God. God has a special bottle in which He collects all your precious tears. Psalms 56:8 says, "Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?" Earthly things will always leave you dry. But Psalms 16:11 says that pleasures forevermore and the fulness of joy is found in God's intimate presence. Get in the Word. Feeling weak spiritually? Your spirit hasn't eaten! While you've feasted your flesh on all that pizza, pate, cheese, etc. you've neglected feeding and fortifying your Spirit that needs the daily bread to be strong with overcoming power. Psalms 17:4 says, "Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer." You also need overcoming faith when you fail. Romans 10:17 says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. The lie of lonliness. I once believed that I was never lonely because I had God in my heart. And then I felt those lonliness pangs that almost physically hurt on the inside. What a mess of feelings we have? But the fact of the matter is that we do have the Lord, and He does satisfy, and while we many not need a mate now He will provide one in His perfect time. Know that Satan wants to paralyze your walk by making feelings of lonliness overcome you. Throw out the lie and embrace the truth. Get together with the brethren and be strong in numbers. The lie of sexual energy. Psychology classes and textbooks teach that sex is one of the three basic needs for survival. If that need is deprived, you will be psychologically damaged and die. Young men and women have forsaken forebearance and bought into this lie and subsequently felt that if they didn't have sex, they would explode. God is so kind that He has provided a way so that we are not controlled so miserably by our feelings, and that is the Truth of His Word, and the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit. If the three needs are food, water, and sex, then if you don't eat and don't drink, you'll die. Will you die if you don't have sex? Now is it really a basic need? The lie that you're incomplete as a single. Baloney. Paul the Apostle enjoyed his single life because he could do more in God than if he were to have family responsibilities. That brings us to the question: are you, when you get married, going to look back upon these years and say, "Oh, how I wish I did this for God... how I wish I did more in that direction...!" This is the hour to live in Maximum Christianity. The only reason why the singles I've seen in singles groups are dilapidated and defeated is because they keep looking for Ms. Right and Price Charming to come through the doors of the fellowship, and their lives are lived to a minimum.