Handling Difficult People on IRC
Foreward	A wide variety of people join Christian channels for any number of reasons. Some visitors were sincere. Some had questionable motives. Our goal is to facilitate all these people as much as possible, but we must also keep in mind that - above that - our primary purpose is to protect the Lord's sheep from any spiritual or psychological damage and not allow the schemes of Satan to find their mark and be propagated like mind-fire on our own channel. In this article, we will examine the different kinds of people, potential pitfalls in our responses, and the weaponry used against us, and what How-To methods we can employ to successfully deal with out-of-control individuals. Keep in mind this one thing: on-lookers will always criticize our policing of our own channels, citing, "You are squelching Free Speech" and "You are kickbanning people who do not conform to your opinions." This goes with the territory of maintaining a protected environment and haven in a Christian channel. You can, however, politely remind these people to be more open-minded to the fact that when debators leave the podium of clear-thought and logic debate to open ridicule and accusation, little is earned by either side in continuing the conversation, especially if the debator is one who does not listen. Above all, remember that the key to surviving IRC ministry is to not allow users get under your skin, but approach all difficult situations with a touch of humor and joy. In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, a returning ancient emperor of the Klingons known as Kahless engaged Gowron of the High Council, who was an unbeliever, in a bat'tehl battle. The pessimistic Gowron had the form of the fighting but not the richness of heart of a fighter, and so Keyles goaded him, saying, "Gowron! There is no joy in your heart!" If you are ever in a situation where IRC has caused you prolonged stress and anxiety to the point that you've lost sleep, energy and health, then do not feel condemned by taking a sabbatical to be spiritually renewed. Here is a helpful quote. I do not mean any offense to anyone by sharing it. Albert Einstein once said, "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
The Weapons They Use	There is a variety of weaponry that users can use to disrupt a Christian channel's level of peace. Remember that that the Lord Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) and we should endeavor to operate within the leading of the peace of the Holy Spirit. Anything otherwise is acting in the flesh, and flesh cannot glorify God, because without the Holy Spirit's empowering, we are manufacturing ministry. Any ministry, thus, that has its source in flesh is not God, and God may allow us to fall flat on our faces, gracefully of course, in His reknown fatherly means of reminding us of this point! To be an effective Christian IRC witness, we must understand the schemes Satan employs, so that we can develop a strategy on-the-fly and spend a minimum amount of energy in bring down these devices and achieve a maximum effect once we've circumvented each potential attack against us. Remember that even though we are warriors, we are such only in a spiritual sense, and our enemies are never ever the people themselves. The following outlines the weaponry used against us. We learned of these techniques through experience and the Lord opening our eyes to them. Thought Bombs - a Thought Bomb is a thought, concept or an idea that has its purpose to shake the faith of the young believer, open greater woundings or gaps of weaknesses in those who are already struggling, and to occupy the mature in the faith with a debate-oriented dilemna. Thought bombs can come one after the other and can do damage to everyone at all levels. Because those sending Thought Bombs are generally not the listening type in the first place, so much energy is exhausted in dealing with the first Thought Bomb that the second, third, and so on really make things worse for the channel as a whole. Lures & Baits - A debator entering the channel may merely want to get under your skin, baiting the hook and luring you so that you react emotionally and brashly, rather than act like Jesus Christ. When we trample over the hedge God has placed around us to move out in the flesh in response to the Lurers and Baitors, we have made ourselves vulnerable and open targets for debators to pick at. They can use your own fleshly response to reinforce their already negative opinions of Christians! Making You Lose by Making You Win - It is possible that we as Christians can be so correct that we are so dead wrong. Let's take homosexuality for example. Christians' opinion range from the Biblical "God hates the sin but loves the person" to the extreme of "God hates homosexuals." Most debators can make quite a spectacle of us as "intollerant and self-righteous bigots" as some of us have gone into the "hellfire and brimsone" aspects of Sodom and Gomorrah. In being so loud in our need to be right in the debate, we've become seriously wrong in that we've failed to be quiet enough to listen. There is actually a heartcry in the debator's life, but it is beneath the surface, and we've become so insensitive that we cannot distinguish it from that person's words! That person is crying out for hope. Listen to that person.
How to Handle These Weapons	Keep in mind that the debator or trouble-maker may or may not be conscious of the weapons that we are discussing. Do not become discouraged if you do not win them over to Christ. InterVarsity traveling campus evangelist, Cliff Knechtle said once, "Evangelism is like a chain. Sometimes you're the first few links, and sometimes you're the middle links. On occasion, you'll have the opportunity to be the final links and pray with someone to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior." Thus, let us be good witnesses at each link along the chain! Here is how to handle these difficult situations or people or weapons: Identify if the person is willing to listen, or if he is there to just merely accuse. Ask what academic references and personal research the person's allegations are based on. Are they fact or fiction. If you determine hatred of Christianity in this individual, determine as quickly as possible what his reasons are. Most hate Christianity because of what others say, and even at that, it is severely lacking on academic foundings and proper personal study of the facts and the Bible. If you cannot answer the Thought Bomb directly, side step it. Go straight to the root issue. You have the right to find out why this person is asking all this. "Would you want to know Jesus Christ in a personal way more if I answer this question?" you may ask. "If not, then a more pertinent topic is this...." And steer the person on a more beneficial path of discussion. Remember to not make this one person's conversation the dominant topic of the channel! Christian channels must not be "popular" due to the existence of heated debate. No-one has ever been won over by debate, but by a listening ear. It may be necessary to invite this person to a different channel, or continue the conversation in private. Ask the individual, "Can we continue this conversation in another channel, and not make it the dominant topic of this channel?" It is okay to listen to the person's philosophy, but be very sure that you keep an eye out for the younger in the faith, to privately message them behind the scenes if they have difficulty telling what is right or wrong. Be careful, because a person's philosophy could in itself be a Thought Bomb. Christian channels should never become a platform for the preachments by those whose motives are questionable. Always use Godly discernment. Ask the Holy Spirit for help always. Don't forget to be courteous! Coordinate with fellow Christians. Some Christians come into the middle of a debate and begin to lend a hand. If at any point you find that their comments are not condusive to your path of solving the arguements, simply /msg them and ask them if they would be so kind as to hold back. It's okay not to know the answer to something. Don't feel bad that you don't know - hey, neither do I! Write the situation down and consult with someone who has more experience in this area, and develop a strategy to solve this situation. You'll be surprised how many breakthrough solutions you may come up with from the help of your friends! "They don't care how much you know; they want to know how much you care," is what an evangelist once told me. In the process of dropping my debating nature and taking on the nature of a listener, my opponents have subsequently dropped their accusations and began to talk to me, realizing that I'm not a "hellfire and brimstone fundamentalist preacher", but a living and breathing human being, kind enough to care, and caring enough to be kind. This in itself was worth it. It's okay to hear the person out in private. Invite them to a private channel or by /msg. Some have confided in me that they have needed help, and it was a tremendous ministry opportunity to meet their needs and for a friendship. Many join our channels to debate us harshly simply because they are lashing out from a pain inflicted upon them by Christians in the first place!
Their Painful Backgrounds	There is a variety of people who join IRC Christian channels, and it is important to be sensitive to their varied walks of life and backgrounds. You will never know if God will use you whether you are ready or not, to be the guiding light for this person to come to know the Lord Jesus! Understanding the individual's background will give you great insight into the unseen layers in this person's life. It will give you a clear perception of the underlying motivations, the impetus of each statement, and whether this person is acting or reacting. And if you can determine if this person, for example, has been hurt by Christians, then you can determine what areas you as a Christian can compensate in where others who have hurt this person have lacked in, to aid this individual in his/her healing process! Please note that while I do point a finger of self-examination back at us as the Church, the root cause of their Pained Backgrounds are not too infrequently the result of Christian cults, which aren't Christian at all! Cults assume an appearance of true Christianity, but with devastating results. Let's now examine what kinds of people visit our channels. Burned-Out and Once-Christian - I have encountered many Christians who were once faithfully serving the Lord, loving Him completely, and going to church faithfully each Sunday. But something happened along the way. They felt that God had abandoned them. They commited a sin and did not feel God's forgiveness. They did absolutely everything in the Book, and kept on doing and doing this and that to regain that sense of God's love and presence, but He was not there. Eventually, other people in church looked down upon them and even shied away from them because they were always downcast, depresed, and thus they eventually became despondent and dejected towards God and their church. They had been subjugated to an incorrect version of Christianity - that of a performance religion, that you had to do "(a), (b), (c), and (d)(i), (d)(ii) and d(iii)" - so to speak - in order for God to do such-and-such. These "You do this, and God will do that" formulas which not only rampant in the charismatic movement but even non-charistmatic denominations are responsible for creating the damaging mindset in the individuals that God will only love you if you successfully complete your side of the formula. Let us take care not to say, "Well, that was becasue of sin in your life." Recall that Job's friends all sounded spiritual, like many of today's Chrsitians; they said essentially the same thing; but they were very wrong. Burned-Out and Once-Christian users often find Christians to unload their frustrations upon. They walk a tightrope between a frail desire to find God and to even give up on life. Some have indeed contemplated suicide because life has no hope without God. Outcasted - I cannot stress how many individuals have been outcasted by intollerant churches because these individuals fail to meet the moral guidelines of the denomination or churches. In Rev. 1:5, we see that Jesus loved us first in the condition we are in, and accepted us before we had the power to change ourselves. Don't forget that change is a process. Anyone who was changed overnight was indeed changed in certain areas that are more manifest, e.g. Jesus breaking a cocaine addiction or a horrid enslavement to depression, etc. but we all have a process to endure. We Christians are not perfect, but have a perfect Lord, who is perfecting us daily. Outcasted individuals may have either been driven out of church, or have merely been given the cold shoulder. Some have even been cited as "demon-possessed." (I myself have been called a "son of Satan" by a fundamentalist preacher's wife. I looked at her and said, "Shut up, in the name of Jesus!" and, miraculously, her mouth zipped up!") A great number of these who were outcasted are those struggling in homosexuality, transsexualism and transvestism, etc. Let us not forget that the Church is the world's rescue station, not the world's rejection agent! Accepting people does not mean you have to accept their lifestyle, but don't forget you're a sinner too. God accepts us, sin and person, and He is hardly phased with the process He has to go through to make us clean in the end. Besides, would you want your own "personal" power to help a new brother overcome, say, homosexuality, or would you rather bring that brother into an understanding of the power of his brand new Heavenly Father who Himself can help him overcome? You can read all the Anthony Robbins books you want until you're blue in the face, but without God's power and love, you won't be able to minister to someone with, say, a spirit of suicide! Abused - Sexual abuse by parishoners is rare, but we're beginning to see it popularized by the news media. Let's be open to the possibility that people are out there, and they may be right in the channel! Another form of abuse - that is far more wide-spread - is religious abuse. Not all preachers are perfect, but then, not all preachers are true Christians either. Judging them is not the point here, but identifying that the individual may have been subjugated to an incorrect version of Christianity where God is only a God of wrath, and that you must absolutely be afraid of Him, because He can absolutely destroy you for your sins. I have heard of parents complain to me, on IRC, of their children watching televangelist broadcasts and then having nightmares of hellfire and brimstone. On the same note, I have seen the offspring of devout Catholics fear hell and damnation, as it was drilled into them by their dogmatic parents. Now is this of God, I ask you? Does Jesus do this to the little children? This is very far from the Jesus in the Bible, who took the little children upon His lap and chatted with them tenderly. For the religiously Abused, it is easy for them to live a life without religion, rather than be subject to a life of bondage to fear. Remember that the true living God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7), and that he has not given us a spirit of bondage to fear (Rom. 8:15). There is indeed a place for preaching on hell and God's judgement, but it must be considered in the balance of God's grace and His love. His righteousness does cause Him to judge sin, but His love for you caused Him to have Jesus Christ as the scapegoat to take your sins on Him, so He would judge His Son instead of you. Because He loves you.
How to Help those with Painful Backgrounds	Galatians 6:1 tells us that if a person is overtaken in any tresspass or sin, then those of us who are spiritual (or who are in the Spirit) should restore this person in a spirit of gentleness. As I was reading this, I had a fresh revelation. The way we can be in the Spirit (or "spiritual") is to walk in the Spirit (Gal. 5:16). The way we operate in restoring people is that we both practice and have evident in our lives the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. We often look at 6:1 and forget that the few verses before it regarding the fruit of the Spirit actually set the stage of our operation as God's people of restoration! Restoration is in the very heart of God. God does not want sinners to externally conform to a moral standard. Rather, He wants to restore people on the inside to the extent that they will live in God's righteousness. Conforming to the moral standard is like following the Law of Moses, but you cannot be righteous from following the Law (Gal. 2:16). Righteousness comes from an inward working of Jesus on the inside of your heart, and that is how we are actually saved! Keep in mind that flesh will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 15:50). So much superfluous and excessive relgion has to do with purifying flesh, which cannot be purified! Our consciences are washed in the Blood of Jesus Christ, and as we continually walk in the Spirit, we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal. 6:1). Our own righteousness is as filthy rags to God, and thus we - and not only we, but those who do not know Christ - all need God's own righteousness in our lives (Phil.3:9, Amplified). Understand that we never earned it. We never did anything good enough to deserve it, or Christ died for nothing. 1 Cor. 15:53 shows us that we are corruptable and mortal, but we put on incorruption and immortality in Christ. We put on Christ's life and Christ's righteousness as sinners. Thus, getting these people with painful backgrounds to conform to a religious standard really isn't God's way, because even though it will make them "Christian" on the outside, their hearts on the inside are still breaking. Rather, they need to know the Father's love, God's restorative grace, that holds us to His heart, embraces us, wipes every tear away. The more extreme factions among us may accuse us of compromise, but what counts is a changed life to the glory of God rather than a moral majority that will die and leave the earth without leaving a landmark for God in history.